The balancing act.

                “The steadfast love of the Lord never ceases; His mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning. Great is Your faithfulness.”
                                -Lamentations 3:22-23

                Today, as I wondered what I wanted to write about, my heart felt so full, and my mind so empty. This semester has been so incredibly crazy and difficult to deal with. Balancing everything has been a huge challenge for me; one that I presumed I was prepared for, but one that has proved me to be very wrong. In all aspects of life, I feel so weak; mentally, physically, spiritually, relationally. It all seems so out of balance. I’ve never been good at balance, really. I swing to the far sides of the pendulum, always being a more extremist of a person than a fence-rider. I have always been deeply opinionated and I take a strong stand on issues and things that I care about. Lately, though, I feel as if I have been riding along the middle line. It’s as though I have become so complacent and busy that I don’t give any real effort to anything. My time is so spread out between 14 hours of classes, 3 jobs, church, College Group, Bible Study, 5 siblings, 2 parents, 6 roommates and trying to still have a social life somewhere in there that it’s as if I have forfeited the ability to give real time and effort to any of the aforementioned things. How sad is that? It’s not how I want to live my life—so busy that I never truly invest in anything. It’s not how God intended it.

                I don’t want to be a “fence-rider”. It’s so sad to me that the society and culture we are thrown into as Americans has almost forced us to be so busy that we can’t breathe. (This is a bold statement to make, I am aware, because any mention of the country we are blessed and cursed to live in is, by nature, controversial. However, I do want to make it clear that I am so very thankful to live in America and to have everything that I need and more. My point is not to degrade the fountain of progress and privilege that we are given as citizens here; on the contrary, it is simply to state that I have, by influence and by my own accord, given in to the frantic and non-stop lifestyle exemplified by the faulty definition of “success” that is exalted by our culture.) It is almost inescapable—the need to be constantly busy is hard to escape when there are papers to be written, exams to be studied for, rent and tuition money that is due, etcetera, etcetera. This realization has driven me to one question: where is my peace and rest? If I am doomed to the inevitable pattern of business, where am I going to find any moment of relief? The answer is so simple: Christ. With Christ as the solid, unchanging, unwavering, unmoving, unconditional foundation for my life and everything I do, His peace will evade all fear. I cannot just stop catering to the daily responsibilities I have, but I can cast all of my cares upon the Lord. He will be my strength, shield and fortress in times of chaos and unrest. How sweet it is to have the extravagantly rescuing love of a Savior. I would dare to say it’s time for us to find balance in our lives, and cut out things that waste our time so that we can be good stewards of the time given to us.